On the Arrival of Mr. Kelly’s Pigs

On the Arrival of Mr. Kelly’s Pigs

A poem by Dr. Jude Stephens (or listen to Jude reciting the poem here)


Today at Jubilee we mark the coming of the swine

A notable array of seven young pigs in their prime


Our pigs are vigorous hybrids from two well established strains

Their deep-bodied circumference guaranteeing meaty gains


A fusion of two prime rare breeds, the Large Black and Old Spot

These pigs will eat most anything – it doesn’t matter what.


A pig will excavate with ease – to forage is pure pleasure  

When turning over soil’s the aim, no others have their measure

Their task, to fertilise the soil and rotavate the land

Snug in their polytunnel they’re a most contented band


Your pig loves nothing more than to receive feisty caresses    

While tender scratching of his back can help your modern stresses


Don’t be bashful, tease your fingers though his bristly stubble

You’ll seal a friendship with your porker – if you take the trouble.


But don’t forget to wash your hands for hygiene here is key

Just where a pig has put his snout cannot be guaranteed


These gourmands will be nourished with diverse organic fare            

Surplus veggies, excess whey all sourced with loving care


These swine will live the dolce vita, rooting grub and worm

 A life nature intended, until they’re plump and firm.

By May your porkers will display a generous physique  

Exceptional in quality all perfect at their peak.


Their stoutness does you credit for pig husbandry’s a gift!

It’s very nearly time to give Your Sunday roast a lift.


In June the day will come when every pig must turn to pork

So celebrate and toast them for the food that’s on your fork.

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