On the Arrival of Mr. Kelly’s Pigs
A poem by Dr. Jude Stephens (or listen to Jude reciting the poem here)
Today at Jubilee we mark the coming of the swine
A notable array of seven young pigs in their prime
Our pigs are vigorous hybrids from two well established strains
Their deep-bodied circumference guaranteeing meaty gains
A fusion of two prime rare breeds, the Large Black and Old Spot
These pigs will eat most anything – it doesn’t matter what.
A pig will excavate with ease – to forage is pure pleasure
When turning over soil’s the aim, no others have their measure
Their task, to fertilise the soil and rotavate the land
Snug in their polytunnel they’re a most contented band
Your pig loves nothing more than to receive feisty caresses
While tender scratching of his back can help your modern stresses
Don’t be bashful, tease your fingers though his bristly stubble
You’ll seal a friendship with your porker – if you take the trouble.
But don’t forget to wash your hands for hygiene here is key
Just where a pig has put his snout cannot be guaranteed
These gourmands will be nourished with diverse organic fare
Surplus veggies, excess whey all sourced with loving care
These swine will live the dolce vita, rooting grub and worm
A life nature intended, until they’re plump and firm.
By May your porkers will display a generous physique
Exceptional in quality all perfect at their peak.
Their stoutness does you credit for pig husbandry’s a gift!
It’s very nearly time to give Your Sunday roast a lift.
In June the day will come when every pig must turn to pork
So celebrate and toast them for the food that’s on your fork.